Counting Down to 90 - Week 1568 - December Madness Revisited and Maintaining Sanity
Revisiting December madness - when there are so many events and invites, that despite accepting just a few, it's tough to maintain sanity going from one place to another in this maximum city of ours
The Concept Explained
Bhavin Jankharia
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Last Sunday, at a reception in a central Mumbai hotel, I saw a fellow radiologist walk off the stage while we were waiting in line to meet the couples and their parents on stage. I called out to him. He was in a rush because he had to leave for another reception in another part of town. I asked, “Do you have to attend this other function?” He said, “Yes, because I’ve been invited.” I asked again, “Do you have to attend every function you’ve been invited to?” He said, “Of course. It would be rude not to.”
Fourteen years ago, in 2010, I wrote a piece for the Mumbai Mirror column titled, “December Madness”. It was about the sudden increase in wedding invitations in December, which have just worsened with the increasing number of events per wedding along with all the lunches and dinners with friends and family visiting from abroad, the 24th and 31st night parties, lectures at conferences and concerts and shows.
Bhavin Jankharia
I wrote,
The world is made up of two categories of people; those who believe that every invitation has to be attended come what may (these are the ones who will tell you how they have just come to the Turf Club on the way to the Cooperage after having attended weddings in Vashi and Chembur, whining away yet proud of the fact that they are going to be able to beat their last record of 2 1/2 weddings and one funeral) and those like me who believe that it is our prerogative and decision to pick what we want to attend and what we don't. Every wedding and party that one is invited to does not have to be attended, just because there is an invite.
Over the last 14 years, I’ve become even more selective as Mumbai traffic has worsened and social obligations have multiplied. The first filter is how the invite has been sent. If it’s only a WhatsApp invite without a call, it’s a definite “no-no” as I wrote about in April.
Bhavin Jankharia
If there’s a call, then all the other factors come into play…how close is the person? Is it negotiable or non-negotiable? How far is the venue? Is it during working hours or on weekdays or weekends? Is it a small intimate gathering or a large 1000 people function where our presence or absence will likely not be noticed? And so on. If there are two or more invites on the same day at the same time, unless they are in the same general area, we will choose just one.
I also play the 60s card with alacrity, saying I’m no longer young enough to have the energy to travel 2-3 hours within the city or from one venue to another.
It’s about maintaining sanity and not killing ourselves racing around in this maximum city we live in. It is not possible to attend every function or event we are invited to, so it helps to have filters in place to navigate these situations, especially in December, when it all gets out of hand.
Sometimes, one couplet says it all.
I close my eyes, imagine myself as a pin on
the blouse of time, barely holding it together.
This is the ending of Matthew Siegel’s “How Am I Doing.” Devin Kelly provides a detailed explanation.
I think we can all relate...there are days when we can just about hold it together. In a month of madness like December, perhaps there’s no other apt couplet when we are juggling multiple issues…work, home, invites, friends, family, kids, and then of course, doomscrolling the state of the country and the world.
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